Thinking..Thinking..

Hi all, how are things with u?

What happened to me (Charles) ? where did i go? well...

(1) I surviveD the super long 4 days of Pc show with my fellow mates (they were wonderful..didn't think i could pull it thru without them around me, esp my 'nagging' boss..nAg Nag naG..hehe..)

(2) I Went thru a "forgettable" (wanted to say meanless..but then again..) interview (special thanks to my mentor who prepared me the night b4..thank u...)

(3) I will always be grateful to my 'Nagging' boss..for giving me a chance to perform at work..NOT singing, but let me perform my duties well (in peace)..My boss was always there for me whenever i needed help..i shall not name her, NO,she is NOT Jack Neo...many things to say..but i guess i shall keep it to myself..

(4) I got news from my cousin, Randy on sunday night (14/03/2010) @ abt 8pm..my nephew (whom i shall named her mei mei) was admitted to KK hospital..oh shyt, my heart sank..i was in a middle of the pc show (working), together 'brain-dead-ing' with the rest of my mates..1 more hour to go b4 this whole damn thing closes down...my body was there but my mind & heart was with mei mei..All i can hear was mumbling, nosies from the people i was attending too..Then again, i was a professional sales person with super good customer service skills to pull thru that 1 - 2 hours..I can do it..& i did it...

Mei mei meant alot to me, she was 1 of the reason why i love kids so much..dun asked me what she was down with, i couldn't care to find out..i just want her to be ok & discharged asap...

On 15/03, i went down KK hospital to visit her, omg ! that hospital make me feels like i m in a BIG community centre with so many people walking here & there..but then again, it was only the 1st floor, things got better for me when i reached the 8th floor..Keane (mei mei brother) was there to greet me..together with him + the $8 balloon, we walked into the ward..

I pray & hope i will not see what i do not to see...

I was wrong, the moment i stepped into the 4 bedded ward, a small baby, whom i guess was about 1-2 months old, was laying face down on its tummy, sleeping soundly..(Later i got to find out the baby was suffering a fever). The rest of the beds around me was covered with curtains, i can hear young children crying softly in pain..

Wtf, what have they done to deserve this?

YOU ! Up there..can u hear me or them ? Can u feel them? Can u feel their pain? I love u so please love them too...

Finally i reached mei mei bed..that poor little thing, looking so weak with rubber tubes inserted in her left hand..she was doing her colouring book..i presented her the balloon..she loved it...

I didn't know what to say or do, i just wana hug her & let her know, we r all here for her.. i was afraid my tears would drop b4 i could even speak...

I end up colouring the book with her..

I was feeling so weak..helpless..Alexis was on my mind..How would me & lian response if we were thrown in a similar situation..will we be ever ready?

Me & keane went back down to the 1st floor to get mei mei another $8 'high school musical' balloon..however this time round she was sound asleep when i went back up, so i tied the 2 balloons to the bed railing next to her, so that the ballons would be the 1st thing she see when she wake up...i kissed her forehead & left the community centre (KK) with my mother + grandmother..

'What is life?', i asked myself..is it all about work, working non stop? Am i spending more time at my work place then at home? Only to blame myself when things happened,blaming myself y didn't i spend more time with my family, cousins..

Yes, i was feeling Fcked up...Am i suppose to find a job that pay less but i can spend more time with my family?

Sorry if i bored u to death with my blog but u would know what i felt (meant) if u r a parent yourself...everything is gona b alright..everything is gona b alright..

God bless..

Ps: mei mei was discharged from KK on 16/03/2010 (Tues), the doctor still cannot find what is wrong with her (if i remember correctly)..what amateur(s)...